Watercolour works in progress…
She is someone else and you don’t know her.
For an unemployed person, I am one ridiculously busy lady.
I have completed my CAB training, and so this week I was let loose on the public, attempting to help them sort out their problems…. So far, so good. Starting Monday, I am spending two weeks volunteering as a teaching assistant at a primary school… which is a rather daunting prospect. Arg. Terror. AND I’m attempting to organise an art exhibition at the little gallery I volunteer for! Oh my. Unemployment is definitely not boring these days…
And, when I get a moment, there is art! And yoga. SO MUCH YOGA. I love yoga. I have gotten so damn bendy.
Lately I’ve been spending time looking into the more meditative, emotional, calming, thinking side of yoga. Which turns out to be fascinating and ever so thought provoking. A hell of a lot of my art has been about feelings and emotions and thinking (or not thinking) and what’s real (or not real.) I’ve spent a lot of time and energy attempting to fight negative memories and emotions…. With yoga, you just let it be. You accept that you are not in control. Things come and go. You recognise emotions are there but you don’t fight anything. Oh it’s all so… liberating! And peaceful. But I’ll stop there before I go all obsessive-preachy-hippy on you. Uh oh.
(Go look at this lovely lady’s website if you do happen to want to read more about it all…http://www.ekhartyoga.com/blog/yoga-and-emotional-pain)
Absent minded scrap paper biro doodles…
So being a penniless artist is not all it’s cracked up to be. The boyfriend and I have fallen into these horribly gender-stereotypical roles…… I NEED TO FIND A JOB! I can’t just fill up my time with volunteering…….. or can I?! Ha ha. Oh. I’m trying to get a teaching assistant job, because children are awesome and I’ll have time to carry on being an artist. Have had a few interviews, which have all gone REALLY WELL. Or so I thought. So please someone give me a chance? I’ll be wonderful, I promise!
Ah, the man is on his way home. Must get into the kitchen and cook him his dinner, he’ll be tired after a long day in the office, bless.
HA HA NOPE. To the pub! I’m off out. Au revoir.
I mark the couples walking arm in arm,
Observe their smiles,
Sweet invitations and inventions,
See them lend love illustration
By gesture and grimace.
I watch them curiously, detect beneath the laughs
What stands for grief, a vague bewilderment
At things not turning right.
From “That Sanity be Kept”, by Dylan Thomas.
I bought a one-way train ticket to Gravesend yesterday. Sounds ominous.
I am moving in two-and-a-half weeks! The packing has begun. And I found these words that once upon a time I wrote everywhere… I should read more poetry. I hear that there are other poets out there, other that Mr Thomas. I have unearthed a lot of the past whilst packing, and thrown away probably a little bit too much of it. But it feels nice. SO MUCH ART! Some of which is actually rather good, which was a nice surprise. A lot of shite as well mind you. Now all I have to do is find a new job……. oh god. I don’t want to end up back in a coffee shop, but I actually don’t know what I want to do. Something that gives me enough money, and enough time, to carry on this attempt at being an artist please. Yeah. Exciting!